Well, that was fast. I'm still in total shock. My husband is away right now, so I had to wait and tell him when he called me. I'm excited and terrified. It was confirmed by blood test today.
I called my psychiatrist the day I found out and left her a message. She called me back and left me a message that said a few things:
1. Congratulations.
2. She wanted to let me know that some women experience clinically significant moodiness early on and that if I felt more than the occasional weepiness that I should call her.
3. That it was a really smart decision to go back on the medication and that she wanted to remind me that it was the smart choice.
The OCD has tried to poke through a few times with doubts about whether the meds are a mistake, whether I am already making mistakes that will forever cause harm to this little poppy seed sized bean.
Also- I'm terrified that it won't last. That there is something wrong with me that won't let me have this kind of happiness.
All of that said - I do feel like I'm managing. I'm being fairly reasonable (outside of the 5 home tests I took to try and get it to feel less surreal).
So, now I'm humbly asking for your support. Nobody understands my mind better than all of you. I'm hoping it starts to sink in soon. It is really a weird feeling.
